unpredictable journal

30 April 2005

Lack of H2O

Yesterday I was the one who slept the earliest at home but was also the latest to wake up this morning. Usually this sign occur means I'm getting sick and if I happens to sleep the whole day, then I must be feeling terrible sick.

Guess recently, I didn't had enough H2o. Everyday I only drink 1litre of water during work, came back home hardly drink any water. Perhaps, I should starts bringing 3 bots of water to work. But 2 bots are already so heavy to me. Sianz...

Lack of H2o, cum the weather so warm. Is making me and everyone sick man. Keep having headache nowadays, goosh...

My book shelfs can become first aid shelf, full of medicine. Medicine for headache, gastric pain, flu, sore throat.... and still got another two... don't know for what de. Anyway, going to move them back to kitchen.

Wanna practice cello also cannot, head so pain. Sianz 1/2...

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:17

29 April 2005

I gotten a new name!

Almost miss bus 79 this morning, haha... so lucky arh... if not jialat.

Mummy asked me not to cut my hair behind, cuz I actually looks nicer with long hair. (Don't say I kanasai okay? Is my mom say one... ) But to me, I looks really cute in short hair... long hair always gets it tied up, nice meh? Haha... still remember a few weeks ago, when I was in the living room watching tv, mom's played with my hair. Haha... she was tiying two pony tails. Cute neh! Haha... kanasai right?

Today Lynn ("Manager" act only) Haha... asked my name. I told her many times that my name call Jialin (Char-ling) yet she still insist on called me Chanel. Haha... nice name right?

Now in the factory, everyone called me Chanel... except for those who knows my real name long ago. They are... Sarinah, Sama, Ah Fang, Soe, Amy. Ya... the rest follows Lynn calling me Chanel.

Hehe... so sianz working. But btw, I got 3 off days... that is tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and Monday. Haha... wink wink!

Finally can practice cello le..

I hope I'll luv myself more

18:42

It was so sunny when I was on my way back home this afternoon. I took a half day leave as I need to go back to school to register my course in second years.

Finally, got my coin purse... cuz actually I wanted to 've a quick bite, curry puff before meeting Kelly. So bought some curry puffs before heading back home.

Felt much more better after taking a cold shower, cuz was having headache at first. I went out not long after preparation.

Luckily not many poeple, so the registration was pretty fast. I paid the first term school fees myself man! Haha... heartache.

I did my appeal during the registration. Well, I haven't really decided on what course am I going to take. Erm... I'll just leave everything to god... if my appeal success, then I'll take accounts, if not I'll take admin.

Rained cats and dogs in the evening when I was about to go for syco practice. Mom's knew that I'm having headache, she actually asked me not to go, but Jo's seems to insist in going. And is kinda pitiful when both Percie and I weren't there to accompany her right? Beside, I guess I missed him... Mr Quek! Haha... kidding lah, I miss the CO that's why, I went with her.

It was so kind of her dad, fetching us there... thanks! And so caring of my dad, he shelther me when I walks towards the taxi... (Jo dad's taxi). Hm... missed those times... when we're in pri school... everytime in the morning, when it rains, my dad shelther us too. Sometimes, when we're late, we even call a cab for kor and me. Haha... winks...

Felt much more better during SYCO practice. But when came back home, slight headache again. Haha... and one more thing, my face cannot put foundation, sure will grew something... such as pimples... cuz my skin too dry... sianz...

Now is late, 12.16am... gotta sleep... tomorrow still 've to work. Hm... 've to remove away the cream my on face now and guess I'll put toner before going to work tomorrow...

Take care everyone.

I hope I'll luv myself more

00:05

27 April 2005

Time seems to pass so fast when working. Everyday woke up with the same schedule and definitely falls asleep before 10pm.

Finally today we ran the new line, the machine wasn't working fine this afternoon, so wasn't that challenging for us.

Quite a lot of rejects, guess there were 300 over of rejects and guess tomorrow gotta sit down there to peal again. Sianz...

Everyday, when I knocks off at 5.30pm, I'll have to run as fast as I could inorder to catch bus 79 (20mins, 1bus). And is so dangerous... haha... but many aunties say that I'm very daring. So is fine. Well, who don't wanna reach home early?

Tomorrow will be working half day, cuz in the afternoon have to go back to school and do the registration. Alamak, $274 've to be withdrawn from my back account for my first term school fees. Sianz 1/2...

Hm... I'm still wondering should I do the appealing for Accounting. Alamak... I'm still waiting for his reply... I'm praying hard for his reply... pls god... his reply is really important to me.

Another thought, still thinking when should I resign. When I thought of working for one more day, I earns another $41 and I could pay another month of my handphone bill. Worth it right?

Thinking of a new hairstyle. Seems to get tired of having long hair and more worse, it doesn't seems to grow any longer that the current length that I had. So what's the point of keeping long hair. Wanted to trim my fringe but definitely curl up, so thought of doing rebonding, but I wanted a curl after all... I mean I wanted to perm my hair for years! But mummy says not nice... she would prefer me doing rebonding. Well... any suggestion?

Second kor seems kinda sad... of course... he was retrench and just broke off with his gf not long ago. Hopefully he's alright... and would be able to find a job soon

Take care everyone...

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:47

25 April 2005

Saturday celebrating mummy birthday very happy but I sprained my tight when climbing up into the lorry. Thought that I couldn't go to CO the next day, but it seems to recover fast. Luckily... if not scare Su Qing not very happy.

Jo's hopefully you're not angry with me for saying you lotta. But is true right? Nothing will comes to your way if you don't go and search for it. Okie?

On my journey to work, I thought of lotta things. Firstly, I thought of how's Gina been doing. Working life w/o her was so bored... no one keeps me accompanied during break, no ones to talk to during lunch and no ones provide me tissue after lunch. No ones running in the traffic with me. Life's so bored w/o friend, especially someone who had been closed to you all times.

Secondly, I thought about my study. I opted for accounting but I was admitted to admin. I told many of my friends but none of them given my advises. Oh well, nevermind. No ones ever bother whether I'm alive or death isn't it?

I told my problems to many people, I told my cousin, I wrote a letter to her, she's in JB. But she didn't reply back, oh well is okay. I know she's busy. Nevermind. All will be wasted was only my tears... I cried when I wrote that letter to her...

I told MH... he given me advises but I didn't told him about my study, just some problems that I had shared with him. Wanna thanks him for being there for me. Oh well, although not all the time, but guess he and he... were the only two persons who at least, sometimes bother about me. Thanks to you guys.

I had told my juniors... but they were like is not their problem. Okay, fine... nevermind. And I told Jo's... she listened, but she didn't give any suggestion at all. Is okay... whatever you people gonna say now is too late.

I had told one of my favourite teacher, but he didn't reply back to my sms. Oh well... guess he's too busy with his own stuffs le. Nvm...

I forgotten everything, I tried hard not to think so I went to practice cello. Pearlyn was scolded, I went out to carry her... and went back to the room when she's okay. Not long after that, she cried again, and I went out again. Again, I walked back to the room when she's okay. And she followed, I don't mind actually. Then mom came in... well... follow by dad. They were talking to loud, how can I practice cello? Dad dropped my tuner... and I hated myself? Why learning cello? Making everyone so unhappy. Sigh...

All I asked was a quiet room to practice cello, am I asking for too much? Sigh... I really do not understand. Elder brother is not willing to lend me his room cuz he wanna play something for his god. Second brother was alone in the room, doing nothing. Lying down on the bed, thinking of something and yet he's not willling to lend me his room too. So I went to my parent's room but who knows all these happened. Sigh... I'm real sad man!

I tried hard to practice as much as possible. But I failed again and again. Oh well, I'm just so useless... No ones really cares about me. Is fine... everything's fine with me.

One good news to share, I had found my true friend! That's this dairy... everytime I had problem, it always been there for me. Although it can't console or comfort me, but at least, I says out everything I want, no ones comment. It always there to listen to me. Thnx my dairy.

I always had been wanting to end my life... and I mean it. But I just couldn't bear to leave my mom.

Oh well... thnx to u dairy...

My tears always drop when telling you all my problems. I only you saw it, just pitiful you couldn't wipe it off for me.

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:37

23 April 2005

Felt so lost yesterday when I knew that my friend was retrench by company. And guess she's even more lost than me especially 2 unplesant things happened day after day.

Hopefully she's okay by now and will use this weekends to think what she really wants. And make the right decision

My throat still so pain, but taking medicine to control. Guess will be okay soon.

Today was so hesitate whether to go sectional practice or not. But in the end I went. Stepped into the door step and I saw Mr Ji, greeted him of course. And he cutted a piece of cake for me and said thank you to me for the cake.

He asked how's my work... and he even told me to work hard for half year and buy a good cello. Haha... wait long long man! I need to starts my school...

Hm... today my performance wasn't very good either. Well, is okay... I expected even more worse comment from him.

Going out to eat later, cuz mummy birthday. Haha...

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:25

22 April 2005

Real mad this morning until I went down to the HQ and feels much more better listening the advise from the CSO.

She advise me to take up Admin and at the same time do the appealing just incase my appeal wasn't successful

And so guess next Thursday 've to take leave again cuz 've to do the registration and all these. Alamak so pai sey don't know how to tell Ah Fang, maybe change tell Sama. Haha...*winks*

Went to watch the SYF, and I look highly on Mat... (don't know what's the school name called as). Their intonation was so good and everything sound so clear, just that the ending wasn't that good. So 2 out of 10 schools, 1 got gold, 1 got bronze and the rest got sliver. None of the school got COP. Guess the judges has been very lenient this year.

After which, actually still 've to go SYCO practise but I asked my girls to home since they seems so tiring. And so we skipped the practise, so bad ar me. Haha...

We had out dinner together at KFC. And I ordered 2 shoomes meals, 2 fillet meals, 2 curry crunch meals for the 4 of us. Haha... the dinner was on me as a reward for them getting the Sliver. Thought that we'd finish but we're all bloated. More worse, there's one lady asking me to do survey on the new product (Fish fillet burger) and I've to try 2 burgers. Alamak, so full. Then cannot walk but I got the $5 vourcher.

Then wanted to go home, but Mic was like wanting to shop for Ji's birthday present. So we went to shop for it. Saw one bag... rather cool...

Reached the bus stop at 9.57pm... then Jo's scared that her mom's will be wondering why was she home so early tonight. So we chatted at the void deck... haha... happy chatting with her.

Reached home, mom's told me there's the cute chicken (KE AI JI) behind. Alamak, chicken again. Today the whole day didn't drink much water, and drank 2 cups of coke, half herbal tea cuz sore throat. Mention of sore throat, my mom was really caring. She brew the herbal tea for me when she knows that I'm having sore throat. But just now still force me to eat the cute chicken. Alamak, I ate a little just to entertain her. Haha... she also ate.

I hope I'll luv myself more

00:28

21 April 2005

3 more mins before I'd check out the post application results. Feeling quite okay, not nervous, not worried-sick just feeling normal.

So bored at home arh? I didn't follow on to my schedule since I slept till 9am. Sometimes, I really feels so vexed of what to wear when going out to watch concert, performance or any other formal events. One thing to add on, no shirts looks good on you when your shoulders are board. Sianz 1/2.

Anyway, I truly miss my colleagues! Especially the three of them (Gina, Soe and Sarina). Of course I miss Ah Fang, Sama and Lynn too.

Finally I'd check my post application result. Oh well, I checked my friend one out first but didn't admit to any course which I felt so sad for her. And I, gotten into Admin but I don't want, really. I'm feeling so sad now, I couldn't accept this cruel facts that I seen with my own eyes.

I really do not know what to do, my tears dropped down my cheeks... I feeling so sad, I hated myself... all my one year accounts knowledge are going down the drain. I hates and I detest all those stupid "O" level students who failed their "O"s and eneded up in ITE. Fighting the vacancy with NITEC graduate students. I detest them... they're all the people who took my chance of admitting to accounting. I hates "O"s students!!!

I'm feeling so miserable now... I really don't wanna get into admin I wanted to go to accounts so much did anyone know? Why they're so prejucied towards ITE students? Why can't they just give us a chance... I'd prove them wrong if I've the chance. I believe everyone must 've a fair chances of admitting to the course they desire. But why? Why does this still happened?

I hope I'll luv myself more

09:57

20 April 2005

Alamak, miss my colleagues

Let me think what's happened this morning. Oh yah, I was late... I slept till 7am when my mom's came into my room and shouted: "Jialin, wake up! Wake up! 7am already!" then I quickly jump out of bed.

Of course no time for me to shower, anyway... I showered at 10 plus last night, so guess is okay arh. Haha... *winks*

Luckily I didn't miss the bus, I still manage to board the usual one. But there's some traffic jam in between of the journal and we reached the factory door steps at 07:59AM! Goosh... luck arh?

And Joo was there, our manager! My god... but he didn't say even a word, and Ah Fang smiled at me. Haha...

Hm... today many people didn't come. Ah Hui, Irene, Xue Fen and Chu Lan didn't come. My god, and so my line was short of 3 persons, Irene was from line 2. Fun man, I do the folding boxes with Ah Yu (stage 1, I mean first step)! Haha... but ganna cut. Who wanna see? I tomorrow show you people. Haha...

Then happily working, Sama called me over. Alamak! Go behind and peel the thingy arh, sianz. But Sarina was there, so we chit chatted. Not long after that, Soe and Gina were there to join us too.

Felt very elated working with Sarina, she's a friendly, open yet not a simple-minded girl. She shared with us many of her stories... I listened attentively but I didn't comment much when she ends.

Something in between that I found it quite amusing was that, when I was so engrossed in her stories and she too, she engrossed in telling me her stories, Gina interrupted. Haha... she was like... so angry man! Haha...

Well, I got more to share with you peopl about this girl. But perhaps some other time.

Hm... it was confirmed that we'll start running the new line on Friday. Alamak, hopefully lah!

Tomorrow gonna watch SYF. Hopefully their hard works pay off lah... all the best to them.

Guess tomorrow gonna be a tiring day for me. Here's my schedule

8.30am - Shower

9.00am - Practice cello

10.00 am - Check application results

11.00am - Practice cello

12.00pm - Meeting Kelly

Then watch the SYF till evening and then go grab some bites then attend the syco practice. Sianz.

Yah, there's this something important that I'm looking forward to. That is my post application result. Tomorrow's the day that I'm looking forward to... yeah... and that's confirm everything. I mean it confirm whether I can still pursue my accounts and which colleage I'm posted to. Wish me all the best arh...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:02

19 April 2005

I was so terrified this moring that I left home at 6.45am (usually I left at 7am) and I've been wondering where should I go. In the end, I took bus to the interchange and I thought of loitering around but in the end, I Q up bus 79 and I reached the factory so early in the morning. Jenny and I were the first two (Jenny aunty used to be that early de).

She chatted with me, and of course I feel much better when someone's occupying my time. She's real nice cum cute... loves her damn lots! Haha... kinda piti her as she has to morning call her son everyday! My god...

Today quite slack too, sweep and mop the floor in the morning. Threw some garbage too... and very fast it was already 10am, our tea-break.

Then had been doing the partician... and I day gone...

Finally I had the courage to ask Ah Fang, my crew leader... whether I'd take leave on Thursday or not. Haha... Faz still don't know that I'm taking leave on Thurs... if he's aware he sure cry. Haha... lack of one person to run the new line.

Hm... and I also told Ah Fang that I'm having SYCO combine practices... and if I'd leave an hour earlier. And she said yes... Haha... finally got the courage. Hm... so like this arh... I won't be that rush ma... right?

Hm... my promoter pays finished... sianz... like that how to buy a cello?

Still loving the pierr cardin wallet... costing me $74.40.... should I buy?

Mom's just reminded that I shouldn't any how spend money. Haha... sch gonna resume soon, save some money for school. Alamak... haha... okie okie...

Hm... so tired... yet I'm so terrified to sleep

*Sob*

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:32

Man I'm early, of course since I slept before 10 last night. Woo... so tired.

Haha, gotten a sms from Jo's saying that Mr Quek wanna tape our solo this Thurday for bar 196 of Sha Di Er. Guess not much problme but still I'm gonna practice for accuracy.

Hm... I had a dream, dreaming that I was late for work, I slept till noon. Alamak, got frightened! Then quickly woke up and realise is only 5am plus so continue to sleep but couldn't.

I'm so terrified at home, I don't feel secure. Can someone please help? I do not know what to do... I'm just scared.

I hope I'll luv myself more

06:18

18 April 2005

Finally manage to settle down yet here comes the little one (my niece) keep tagging behind me. Sigh, couldn't 've the time to practice cello when she's around. Sianz...

Today work till finger bleed also don't know, until saw the blood stain on the boxes again. Sigh, guess I've no more blood for me to bleed any more. Everyday work, everyday also accidentally ganna cut here and there, haix... so pathetic.

Beside, the more I work the more I spent. Thought of banking my first pay ($82 for working 2 days) cuz wanna pay my internet and hp bills. But end up I spent it all and lent $10 to second kor. Gonna take my second pay this Friday! Yippy! Haha... but wondering should I give my daddy and mummy? Haix...

Sometimes, I think that it's better to stay at home and do whatever I like everyday. Cuz even I'm not working, I'll still get 200 over bucks from dad and mom. Well, good isn't it? But I don't want to be spoon-feed and beside, my mom ever said before. She said that she'll not give me money any more if I don't find a part-time job during such a long holiday. But I know she don't mean it. As she know I'll 've to pay the net and hp bills myself.

Haix... how many teenagers are as sensible as me? I wonder... guess we're one out of a million!

Supposely, today gonna 've SYCO combine practice. But still haven't found anyone to help me bring my cello there. So didn't go... luckily I didn't... cuz I'm real tired and sleepy now. Haix...

Hm... I've decided not to lust over my WANTS so much. Alamak... all my wants will nearly cost me 1k. And that's sound like spending money like water arh? So cannot. I'm trying damn hard to forget about a new hair-do... but I'll still 've a hair-cut before school term resume. And definitely a pair of new shoes at a reasonable price. The rest, like Mp3, Sk necklace, pier cardin wallet etc I'm gonna give up. I no longer wanna them, but I needs time to forget all that right?

Today had a chat with her... and from her saying guess more or less, I understand what she's trying to say. Guess she's in love with him... but she's now attached. And at least she's aware that who she truly loved. I'm glad that she knows that...

Hm... guess nothing much... oh yah... I think if possible... and if I really happens to join my new school CO... if they 've such a CCA then I'll join. I'll join the orchestra... and perhaps... learning other instrument... or maybe cello as first and learning another one. Then the chances of me buying a cello is much more higher.

Hm... that's all...

Oh yah... I scolded my niece "You naughter girl, take your shoes, open the door, walk back home yourself and wait for your mummy". And guess what? She really did. My god... feels so heartbreaking... haha... she showed me some "attitude" but after I walked back to my room, she called "AH YI, AH YI"...

Isn't she adorable?

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:19

17 April 2005

I've decided if I still do not know what to do, I'll not turn up for tomorrow SYCO practice.

Well, it seems like no ones is bother about me. Even I ask, I seek their advices they and no matter how many entries in my blog that I had mention about this problem that I'm encounting, still no ones is giving my any advice.

Oh well, I should think of some way to settle this problem soon.

Haven't been eating proper since morning, head is so pain. Had been slacking the whole day and didn't practice cello much. I'm so tired.

Erm.. 've been spending the whole day surfing net, practicing cello and listening to music in the evening. And now, here I'm again...

I've been thinking of buying a cello again. Oh well... I dare not to confirm... but at least I've a thought about buying it again.

My head is hurting me damn lots! Going off...

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:29

Hey it's Sunday yet I'm staying at home, OT cancelled. Sianz... dad's going out and I'm alone at home. Whew... he given me $10 and ask me to go buy lunch later. But you think I'll? Haha... of course saving up is more practical arh?

Alamak! Hands ganna mosquito bite, not only one but two. Haha... cute orh? Sianz... yesterday didn't practice cello cuz was busying packing my shelf and now it's in its apple-pie order. Hm... finish tidying then read "Love for Venus 7" cuz if don't wanna read now, guess I won't be able to catch up as vol 9 is gonna come out this Tuesday. Haha...

Hm... still wondering what should I do on Monday... any advice? He asked me to call him help me bring but I doubt he'll. Beside, he's so rough later something happen to my cello. Alamak... I wish my "f'ship" with him was like before.

Oh well... forget it. Gonna 've my crackers dipping with ice milo le.

Take care everyone.

Oh yah, attention all my juniors! All the best to BLSSCO for the SYF on Thursday! Wish you people gets a Sliver for it! And also my adorable and lovely juniors (cellists) hope you girls get a good and desire comments! Jia you... cheering the whole CO on...

Miss you girls... btw, how's the shirt getting on?

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:51

16 April 2005

Alamak! Tired sia, so many things pending for my action

My shelf was in a huge mess now and I'm going to make sure that I'll tidy up by today. The mess I saw makes me faint... my god.

Didn't went for practice today cuz gotta work OT. Just gotten back home not long ago... So later going to practice

Gotten some parts of the new template edited... mostly source from previous template. A... e colour combination was even better over here arh? Haha...

So vexed... what am I suppose to do on Monday? I've SYCO combine practice after work, but who's gonna bring the cello for me? What am I suppose to do? Bring my cello there or see if anyone is willing to help me to bring, but who? Who's willing? My god, so vexed.

If I can, I really wanna take leave on Thursday... but doubt is possible and so maybe I couldn't be able to watch the SYF. Well, there's a reason behind it and that's...

Currently we're running a new line, producing HP ink catridges (6 different colours in one package) and we're the first who produce 6 colours in 1. And we're supplying our products to the whole world... my reminder again... we're the only one who produce 6 different colours in 1, we're the only one.

5 of us are running this line (Sarina, Soe, Xue Fen, Gina and me). Both Gina and I are running the first stage, 3 machines run by 2 persons (One machine 2 lanes, so each of us gonna take care 3 lanes) putting the link catridges to the lane for it to be packed. Sarina doing the back checking and Soe doing the front checking. Xue Fen doing the packaging into boxes.

Sound easy? Yes perhaps to you... but who's gonna run the machine when one's needs to go to the ladies? Who's gonna run for you when you're absent when the number of people are just nice. So do you think that I'd be able to apply leave? Oh well... forget it...

Feeling so vexed...

I hope I'll luv myself more

12:23

15 April 2005

Yesterday and today work was kinda relaxing, slack the whole day, esp today.

Today morning reached there, Sama (our supervisor) asked us to do cleaning AGAIN! My god, is already so clean what's more to clean?!!

After cleaning, we sat at somewhere to re-arrange those HP ink catridge that were rejected until lunch... after which went back slack until 3pm before doing the demonstration for the guests that how our product was produced. Then we had a light refreshments after the guests ate left-over... (It sound ill-treat right? But this is the rule... )

After which slacked again, slack until 5pm and had our pizza treat from CO (company). Wow!!! Long time didn't eat pizza, taste so nice esp the garlic bread... I forced myself to eat even though I'm damn full. *Winks*

It's rather heartbreaking to know that both of you're attached yet both of you fallen in love with each other. You love your guy/girl but yet you like this guy/girl... how true arh...

4-sided r'ship? My colleague called that...

Hm... next Sat is mummy chinese birthday, jie wanna celebrate for her. Haha... saying that we go out eat together. Alamak! Where got atmosphere? Haha... must go to restaurant mah... just nice it happens that Friday I'll get my pay... haha... happy... mummy loves you...

I found a new template, nice? Haha... but very tired cum tomorrow gotta wake up very early... sianz... take good care everyone... I'm going off to sleep le

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:29

14 April 2005

Yesterday got another cut, shit!!! This is even deeper... oh dear, today removed it when going for lunch, but it bleed again. Shit man, some more is the left finger tips... witht he handasplus how to practice cello? *Sob*

Oh dear... I really had been slacking and I feel so regretted now. To all my beloved juniors, here an advice from me. "When you had been working hard along all these years, please do not allow yourself to slack for more than 3days... the feel and the sound would be a big difference from before". Well, and since my skills starts to stagnant, I feel more like giving up. Oh well... I'm speechless...

Here to share a piece of good news, I gotten my bursary! Haha... although is only $400 but I'd buy many things... and with that, I'd pay my mom for the fridge that I promised to pay half to her. Haha... *winks*

Yeah... tomorrow is the day that I had been waiting for long. Finally we'd start running that line (running machine, hp ink products). Whew... haha... cuz the rest... I mean the line running the bulk tray will 've to move to the back of the factory. No light and the place is so dim... no fan... and the place was so warm, so humid... so guess tomorrow everyone 've to suffer except Gina, Sarina, Soe, and the girl (Don't know call what name, but same age as me) and I'll remain in the air-con room! Hehe... happy arh...

Hm... if it's fun guess I won't be taking leave on the coming Thur (21 Apr) le... cuz sure very difficult to apply for leave as not everyone knows how to run the machine. Erm... well... I'll try... promise...

Alamak... sianz...

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:35

12 April 2005

Haix... today work was so rush... I rushed myself that I got injured my finger. Bleed, but don't wanna use handi-plus [Spelt correctly? Whatever, so long you guys know what I'm referring to] but bleed non-stop even some boxes were rejected because of my blood-stain so end up bo bian... gotta use. Then when doing the tiying, difficult sia! Haix... line 2 people are so fast... more like robots as compare to me. Well... esp the "manager", don't see her always play play, joke joke but she worked the fastest among all of us. Haha...

Sama too, she's our supervisor... very nice of her... enjoy working with them. Oh well, but not everyone of them are nice working with... but I'm glad that majorities are...

Quite a few aunties care a lot about me. Even I got injured this afternoon, 4 aunties and Sama showed their concern to me. Haix... feeling so touch...

Well, I realized something... "Someone you hated might end up the one you loves to mix around with. It might be more worse if that person is the opp gender as you, you might end up falling in love with him/her". Haha... well... not happening at my workplace neither did it happens to me. =P

Going to practice cello le... btw, guess I've to do some adjustments to my previous schedule... to rush... take care everyone!

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:19

11 April 2005

Actually don't wanna come online, but guess I was really loving... loving... loving... loving... loving the song called "Tong Hua". So I was trying to download the midi using GPRS but I failed so came online to hunt for it and I manage. Kinda expensive, $2/min exclude GST. Well, I used kinda 2mins to complete the download so perhaps will be costing me around $4.20?

After which wanna sleep but checked my mail and saw his mail so replied his mail. So tiring, tomorrow still gotta work... arh!!!!!!!!!!!! But money inspried me to work hards!

Btw, I wanna watch the 9pm show ley... so how? Should I practice cello or wathc the show? Haha...

Gotta sleep... mummy's nagging...

I hope I'll luv myself more

00:57

10 April 2005

Skipped the combine practice this morning, haha... acting that I do not know that SCO ppl are back to S'pore!

Pearlyn's was here at around 1pm, sigh... her parents gotta work so I've to look after her since my mom wasn't back home yet. Sianz... wasted the whole afternoon of mine. Finally when I hoax her to sleep and so I came online till now.

Was editing my new template, finally I'm done but gotta help my "friends" burn discs. More worse, I got mixed up and one additional one. Haix... sianz 1/2. And now, waiting for another one to be out, the last one! Finally!

The prime market at my house opened for 24hrs! Yuppie! Hehe... next time couldn't sleep and was hungry, then can go down buy some tibits or whatever man! Haha... winks!

Hm... today didn't practice cello, sianz... but is my promise to myself that I'll practice no matter how tired I'm! So here's a rough schedule of mine for the coming weekdays

6.15am - Shower
6.45am - Prepare, BBF
7.00am - Out of house
8.00am - Working
6.30pm - Shower
7.00pm - Dinner
7.30pm - Practicing cello [Scales]
8.15pm - Practicing cello [Ex pieces]
9.00pm - Practicing cello [Bach Suites]
10.00pm - Wash up

10.30pm - Light off!!!

Yeah that's the way man!

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:33

09 April 2005

This morning kor woke me up early in the morning when I was sleeping soundly. Guess what he asked me?

Kor: Jialin, you don't wanna wake up to work arh?

Me: Today is what day? [Acting damn clam, but my eyes were widely opened]

Kor: Today Friday

Me: Huh? [Nearly jumped out of bed]

Kor gf: No lah, today Sat

Me: Wa lao, don't disturb me lah, I wanna sleep

Kor: I don't wanna wake you up de, is my gf asked me if you need to work.

Kor gf: Hey, don't any how say orh...

Me already fallen asleep le, haha... wa liao, frighten me man! Haha...

My niece, grown up le... haha... she know how to call "Ah Yi" w/o ppl told her to do so. Guess she's now in the stage of "Ya Ya Xue Yu" (means learning to talk). Haha... talk and talk and talk non-stop. Nevermind, the worse is, she used shout! Ai yo, feel like using the string to sew her mouth tightly! Haha... really very noisy lor, buay tahan her. My god...

Y'day act beating her, lightly only, even mom's know that. But she cried like don't know what sia. Then I scared... not dare to bully her any more. Haha...

Hm... today... supposely had to go for SP. But I didn't cuz didn't practice cello since his away. Oh well, not dare to face him, cuz I'm aware that he'll nag and nag and nag non-stop. So to play safe, I didn't went. But who knows that he didn't come today. Oh well, count myself lucky too. Haha...

Oh well, I realise something when I slacked too much. My god! I lost my feel for the cello, I mean the left hand feel of the cello. And also the thickness that the cello 'd produce out before. Sigh... sight-reading, accuracy and passion was as good as before and as rich as before. Haix... gonna practice hard later on again. Hehe... kiasu...

No matter how tired I'm, I'll still make sure I'll practice cello everyday!

I hope I'll luv myself more

17:20

08 April 2005

Today work like hell, line 2 (Grp 2) one person absent, some more was a string player. Wo de tian arh!!!

Then my partner was late for 10mins? Luckily still can cope with it, haha... Not long after she came, I went to stage 2 to help the aunty out and guess we're too fast that behind ppl are stucked with boxes. So I've to run to the back again and help out with the tiying.

Most people might scold me stupid, oh well... whatever they like. I'm someone who cannot tolerate things to get jammed in between of a process, I'll get damn frustrated. I'm someone who's nervous, felt anxious very easily who loves to work damn fast. So fast that stage 1 people saying that I'm a ROBOT! Oh well, whatever they like.

I wasn't very happy working this morning, but saw quantity that we produced out, I'm really elated, at least my hardwork wasn't wasted.

There's one malay girl loves to disturb me. Haha... she very out-going, very open-minded, haha... really cannot stand her. Oh well, we did had fun when being around with her. She loves to touch my butt, oh shit! Haha, everyone asked me to beware of her. Haha, she claims that she like girls but not guys. Haha, even had a certificate for being such a "lesbian". Haha, but I really like her a lot, I mean enjoy working with her, even though sometimes she's ridiculous. But she entertain everyone of us when we're busying working. Haha, that's good right?

Hm... yesterday was mummy birthday, oh well... had no idea what to get for her. Perhaps, paying half of the cost of the fridge will be the best birthday present for her le bah. Haha...

2 weeks has gone, but I only practiced cello for 1 or 2 days. Haix... jialat... haix... sianz...

Hm... got to know more and more people at my workplace. Haha, happy but sigh.. majority are aunties... but nice knowing them, they're friendly and caring but selfish... haha... only a minority.

Tired so tiring working. Time files fast when I go work, whereas everyday stay at home was like ??? Haha... oh btw, I gained 2kgs (current wtg same as last time, oh dear shit. How?). My god, cuz eat during lunch whereas stay at home the whole day, didn't eat cuz wake up at 1 / 2pm in the afternoon, 6pm can eat dinner le. That's why even I ate lots of junk food, I still lose wtg. Sianz... how? Should I go for dieting tablets? Haha...

Tired, wanna shower le, sticky... yucky!!!

I hope I'll luv myself more

18:49

06 April 2005

Today work had been damn tiring, only one line is running, so didn't meet the target.

Sama asked me if I wanted to in the new line, haha... of course I'd like to give it a try. Haha... hopefully tomorrow I'd work in the new line and not staying with all those aunties! Haix... and also a good chance for me to know some of them better. Hehe... =p

Hm... my new wish list are as follows:

*Love for venus 8 (Hopefully I'd finish reading the vol 7 asap and I'll buy the 8th vol once I gotten my pay on the 22 Apr)

*Necklace/braclet (Think necklace better, cuz braclet cannot wear all time, esp I when practicing cello, so necklace better, budget $250 once I gotten my 2nd pay on the 22 May)

* MP3 player once I resign... budget (<$200)

*A new hair do one I resign... budget $250

*A personal cello if I still 've $1500 left...

Something happened to mom... hm... going off to check on her... take care

I hope I'll luv myself more

21:59

04 April 2005

Kinda tiring and guess today was the most unhappy of work day that I had. But he washed off my anger, thnx!

New comer aunty (which is my partner) suppose the two of us 've the stack five boxes and tied it with a string. But she kinda took advantage of my efficiency, she checked the boxes and stacked for me to tie. Haix... half dead.

By right, my duty is to check, stack and tie, I mean for the both of us. But I did some of the pusing in the knot into the hole of the box and helping another aunty to pull her pallet away to the other side. My god, whereas, my partner, she checked the boxes for me and I gotta tie it and put in on the pallet. Shit, aren't them taking advantage of me?

The pallet wasn't very heavy to carry, beside, her one was in the floor. Take up and pull is a very easy job, but she always wanna someone else help her to carry. (Means 2 persons carring one pallet) Kinda waste time right? Somemore, help her, her action was very slow, walk very slow and then my boxes stuck as no ones tiying.

Oh well, but he was so cute... keep making me laugh, whoo... cool me down damn lots! Thnx!

Today our group did 28 pallets, came out 3 more (target 25). Whereas the other group only 21/22. Sianz...

Reach house void deck, saw mummy. Saying that that stupid fellow was shouting that someone had touched his radio, everything wasn't in the right place. Someone has changed the setting.

Then mummy scare later daddy beat me up or what, so asked me not to go up first. So sat with mummy at house void deck for quite long time. Then mummy keep asking me whether I wanna go buy my dinner or not as she cooked something that wasn't suit my prefrence. Then I say don't want, I'll eat maggie... but she asked again and again and I was really frustrated that I showed her my temper.

Came up, wanna shower but kor gf was in the bathroom, sianz... gotta wait. But can't wait, so came online. Then mummy cooked my maggie mee for me, haha... didn't put the ingredient of the packing, but added fishball and veggie in it. Yummy...

Dad was so idiotic, keep using vulgarties to scold mom. Pls! She's not the one who had changed your radio setting. Can you pls stop yelling at her? I don't wanna mummy worry for me that's why I keep quiet and not because that I'm afraid that I'll beaten up by you! Don't think you're my father so what? You know what's call respect? Don't think you're elder than me, you expect me to respect you. Yes, but definitely no talk when you used vulgarties to yell at mom! What kind of dad are you? I rather I've no father.

Sigh... mom have been sad along all these years... all beacause of you, 2 brothers, sis and her hubby and daughter. Whereas for me, I'll only worry about my mom. Mom didn't worry for me too much. Everytime, there's a fight or quarrel, it always break my heart. I tired to be strong, but I failed again and again. My tears dripped into my dinner tonight. And I cried even more when mom's trying to stop that dripping by wipping off for me.

I'm really tired... I'm so vexed for so many things, yet why must all these happened? Oh well, I had no one for me... or I should say, there's no one that I feel comfortable to share with, no one that I can trust... there's totally no one for me... even there're, doubt they'll care... except him. But I don't wanna him worry for me again and again... he had his own things to do...

How? I'm so depressed, so misterable... I feel like life's torturing me... and my beloved mummy! I really wish I'd die... with my mummy... I don't wanna my mummy to feel so worried sick for them yet no ones appreciate her kindness, even me. I hate myself!!!

*Crying... *

So sad... I'm no longer happier when I'm online... I'm no longer a happy girl...

Anyone understand me?

Oh well, no ones...

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:11

03 April 2005

Wa kao a... so vexed this morning. Dad was wanting me to help him print out his CPF statement from the internet but the printer couldn't print from the computer. (Error: Unable to communicate with device) Sianz! What the fuck man!

Wa liao, really frustrated. Cannot scan, cannot print what this fuck printer cum scanner for?!! On site 2 yrs warranty, called them up, never answer the phone. Called the canon HQ, asked me to call them back. Or bring down for them to do a general check. What the fuck, on-site warranty man!!!

I'm real mad at this printer cum scanner. Problematic... sigh... really hate it. Last time got a HP printer, seldom use, definitely less than 10 times, spoilt le. What the hell man!

What's wrong with all these device? I really couldn't figure out the answer. Sianz...

So sorry to Mic, that I break my promise. Haix...

Sianz... now gotta bring this printer cum scanner to my living room to try if it work. What the hell man!

Really going mad!

Friends out there, better don't approach me. Or else, you'll be regretted! I'm not in the mood to entertain anyone now!!! Get it?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So many things pending for my action!!!

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:56

01 April 2005

Today came a new supervisor, sucks man! Everything also don't know, then action very slow. But she very friendly, haha... Fang also mah...

Hm... some new comers too, friendly aunites. Haha, but sometimes, don't like her. Haix... working is like that de. Glad that my helper learn things fast. Hoho~~

Sianz, really sianz... working so hard just for some money. Haha, but guess I've neglected my cello practise

Here's my self-reflection

If really wanted to give up, give up now. It's not worth it to wait for any longer, you'll just waste your time and effort in it.

But someone reminds me of something. That I had ever earned $60 for just teaching 3hrs of cello. That shows that I'd make use of cello to earn money. Perhaps, just a little more time for myself.

Oh well, if that's the case, then I shall practice harder everyday and not slacking. Ok, I shall make it a promise. Erm... nope... wrong. I should say, I must prove to Mr Ji's that who say working nearly 9hrs 've no time to practice cello. I wanna prove to him that a person who's good in time management will excel in everything.

Yeah! That's the way man! Erm... tomorrow gonna practice for hour[S]

Must not give up at this point of time

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:31